17 LAWS OF DE-ATTRACTION FOR MEN

Law 1

When a woman slaps you, kiss the hell out of her easy as that!! If she still slaps you after that then take it as a thank you token for a great moment.

Law 2:

 When yr lady dumps you, move on with her friend and makesure both of them are on facebook. Or even better anyone available within her family line do not draw the line because you got nothing more to lose especially after losing the conveyor belt of you soul?

Law 3:

 She gets you stood up, get yourself somebody else right there where you are. Switch off your phone and record a voicemail message saying, "Am out having a life ,do your self a favour and get one too" 

 Law 4:

 When she ignores your callz , then send her a one word sms with a full stop. For instance, just say Goodnight. Just make sure you do not include those lovey dovey fancy names you call her with

 Law 5: 

When she dumps you and tells you that atleast you can be friends. Tell her that all your friends come with benefits and you certainly can't make her an exception. Its either your way or the free way,be as assertive as possible.

 Law 6: 

When she hardly callz you and you the only one always making the first move then block "Please Call Me" messages on your phone. Call her friend three times a day instead, ask the friend to pass a silly message to her.

 Law 7:

 Never answer questions from her about your new romantic life. Women love to ask things they do not wanna hear and later accuse you of deliberately hurting them. Always find something to shift he focus on the subject relating to you new romance.

 Law 8:

 When she invites you with a new profile on mxit, twitter or facebook and pretends to be somebody else for whatever reason just play along. Above all makesure you tell her what kind of a terrible gf you got and then after that ask her out to show that she aint Ms Universe after all lol

Law 9:

 Release a Facebook Press Statement(FPS) about all your Exs and future Exs after every new break up. In the statement be sarcastic , thank them for what they did not do and use clean words to keep your reputation intact.

Law 10:

 Always set yourself a new record of moving on after every break up. Just for a start ,the current record is 3 minutes , lets see if you can beat that. Goodluck*wink*

Law 11:

When she finally calls you to tell you about miserable her life is just avoid talking too much. Listen to her attentively like never before and then ask her what is she suggesting then. Its an unwritten guy law, saying no to a woman is way fatal that a double edged sword, do what a guy gotta do.

Law 12:

If you have already moved on , remember you should already have broken that 3 minutes record then ask her how far prepared she is to work things out again. Be cautious , think with your brains not your heart as women often do. Take your time but in the end make the decision which will benefit you, do not worry about your happiness.

Law 13:

Ask her what are the new conditions of the NEW START?  Makesure you understand very well and let the game begin. Remember do not breakup with anything or anyone.

Law 14:

Do not agree or disagree with any of her suggestions well thats if you have already moved on. It helps to to be a shareholder in a number of companies so that should the other be hit hard by the recession you still remain on your firm on your feet.

Law 15

Makesure you not as available for her as you where before. Always find an excuse especially when she wants you more on that day. Sure her that the relationship is all about sacrifice for both sides not you and you alone.

Law 16:

When you feel you miss her, go out and have you favourite drink with you worst enemies so you could feel good when those who hate you have their attention fixed on you. Remember after drinking you do not sleep where you usually do and you do not live with the one who was not sitting across the table. Their name doesn't matter, there is a reason why they ccall it a one night stand.

Law 17

Be a magnet, whatever gets attracted to you just trap it. Its called having a life, joys of being a man. The more you do the better your name in the hierarchy of Machoism. Taste the waters as much as you can, do not worry about drowning your friends will always be there to makesure you quickly forget the ordeal.